Saturday, February 4

midweek movie

This week, we decided to do Movie night on Wednesday because of circumstances that I wont say...Anyway, King Fu Panda 2 was the movie choice. The kids were so excited. Really, they don't care what movie they watch, they love anything.
We learned some Chinese words, and then they each looked up some words and got to paint them. Natalie was pretty spot on with hers! Boots, he just isn't super artsy! But they had fun. We then made paper lanterns and hung them around.

Then Noodles and chicken from Panda Express with chopsticks and little rice field peasant hats on their heads. They loved it! They are pretty easy to please!

Before the movie, We played with our food. They checked to see how many marsh mellows they could fit into their mouths at a time. FUNNY! Oreos and movie tickets and we were in business! Fun night, another success.
The remainder of the week has been so, so. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and deep thinking about motherhood. It is hard for me and I am really struggling. I know I mentioned some of it in my last post, but I am just trying to get it all figured out. I love my kids, but there are times when I just don't like them. And tonight? I wish there was a babysitter available and around so that I can just go out by myself. Or someone would come over and just give me a hug. There have been tears shed, there have been a lot more than I have ever had over this matter in the past. Today was a hard day. BUT, I am trying harder and harder daily. I am getting over it. I am trying to find things that help and I hold to those.

DONT GET ME WRONG... I love being a momma, and I love my 3 kids. They are wonderful. BUT I just ... I cant even explain it. I wanted to have something written about this experience I am having though. It is hard, and I want to always remember that there were some really really really hard times. I know my mom will say that she knows and remembers feeling the same way, but I just dont believe it. So when Natalie is all grown up and calls me crying for something that is going on with here kids, I can look this back up and remember and tell her that YES, It is normal to have bad days and bad weeks, and cry! Its ok!

On another bad note, (difference kind) A few weeks ago We had a small Lice scare. I will spare the details and just say we were safe. But Natalie and I did the lice hair shampoo treatment to make sure we were ok. Since then it has destroyed my hair. It is dry brittle and breaking. My scalp is flakey and I have full on dandruff. I have never experienced any of this before so it sucks! I bought a few new supplies to maybe get it all taken care of. I just used head and Shoulders in the shower today for the first time, followed by a generous application of Moroccan oil. I am thinking some olive oil, avocado, honey, oatmeal, and maybe mayo and eggs into a hair mask to set for a while tonight. I remember once in high school me and my friend Meg did mayo in our hair and it was soooo gross. The smell was nasty and we smelt bad for a while if I remember correctly. Sick! But I am desperate! ANY SUGGESTIONS? AHHHH I dont want to have to cut my hair! I have been growing it for 3 years.

OK so now onto thinking about my big decision for the night... I am not cooking, and there are no babysitters available, sooo what fast food am I going to pick up and indulge in tonight?


Meagan@Meagan Tells All said...

Chick fil a!!!!!!

Those waffle fries always make me feel better :-)

Sorry about your hair!!!! That sucks. I've never done the mayo. I don't like mayo at all, but if it helps, go for it!

aidanjordan said...

If we hadn't had a million and one errands to run today and just as many things to clean tonight, I would have told you to bring the kids over and hang out. So sorry you are having a rough time, but, as everyone said before, we all have our rough times. Seriously, as I am typing this I have had to push Joey away from trying to pry the letters off the keyboard like 7 times. So frustrating when they don't listen and then you finally lose it, and then of course feel way guilty afterward. I just have to remember the good times outweigh the bad, and if my mom survived 9 kids, I can survive 2!

Meagan Cooper said...

I wish I were there to give you a great big hug! I love you girlie, I wish we lived closer, it has been waayyy to long! Remember those carefree days of high school, boys, shopping, and selfishness. How little we knew about life right??? I hope that whatever you are going through passes quickly and know that you will grow so much from all of life's hard experiences! And Ontop of all that you are going through to have your hair go crazy must just be the cherry ontop. I just chopped 4 inches off mine today... and how could I forget the mayo hair treatment? Miss you and love you lots. I will call you SOON!!!!!

BrittanyB said...

You are so creative with those movie nights. I love the lanterns, the the painting is such a great idea! I love that even though you are struggling right now you still manage to make these wonderful memories for your kids. When I'm struggling my kids definitely know it and announce to Thad the second he walks in the door that mommy is cranky today. You do an amazing job.

Proud Momma said...

I love you are an amazing mom and are doing the best that you can...its tough when hubbies are out of town though.
That Moroccan oil sounds pretty tempting though, I think I want to try that. Don't you wish you had the hair you had in highschool before all these crazy hormones took over?

Anna@Exasperation said...

Sigh, sis.
Can I say this? I think you're doing awesome. You're TRYING and that's all anyone can ask. But beyond that, I know your kids and they're great. REally great! That's a testimony to your greatness as a momma.
Also, I think it's important that you're writing this down and getting it out there. You know how I feel about this, but I struggle with feeling like everyone else is always perfect and their life is always so happy and nothing ever goes wrong. That's just not true, and we don't do anyone any favors by hiding the hard stuff. So brava for being honest about what you're going through.
Let's get together tomorrow. I love you, girlie.

Amanda said...

Jeni....Hi remember me...your blog stalker that you met in the bathroom last year during jubilee. LOL. Anyways, I still read your blog. I do want to say that I am sorry that you are struggling but want to thank you for sharing. You make me feel normal. I have wanted to be a mother for 8 years. I finally became a mother on January 24, 2012 when I adopted 3 kids. I LOVE them to death but some days are hard. I would not trade them for the world. This mother thing is hard. for 8 years I have only had to worry about myself and occasionally my husband. Now I have 3 little ones that need constant attention. i know I am sounding like I am ungrateful. I am not. Heavenly Father has poured a mountain of blessings on me. I just have hard days. I feel like a failure. especially when I see so many blogs and the moms just rock at being a mom like you. So to know that you struggle to...well...gave me hope. Thanks for being brave enough to share!!