Struggle

So is it possible to be having post pardum when your baby is 16 months old? still? Or do i just call in anxiety? Or low self esteem?

I usually don't like posts like this, but lately (as in the last month or so) I have been down down down. I've been super emotional and snappy, I have been having a hard time losing any of the last few pounds I want to lose and it has made me hate my body, I have found it frustrating every day, all day to be a mom and not yell and get mad at little things. I am trying so hard. I have been praying And praying for patience with my kids, my hubby, and myself. I have been reading talks and trying and trying and trying. I feel like I can not ever get everything I need to get done, done. There aren't enough hours, there aren't enough times I could give enough hugs and cuddles, and kisses. I don't ever want to cook, and cleaning is a must but I procrastinate till the end.

Maybe this is just part of being a mom, and everyone goes through times like this, but I gotta say that I feel all alone in it. When i see other moms, i have to remember I am seeing their best front, on blogs they are writing the best things. I mean come on, Friday family night? It's great and fun and wonderful but do i mention the day and hours leading up to it? Oh no no no! So I have to tell myself that I am normal and everyone goes though this. It is part of life and being a mom, and human.

Really, i have to keep telling myself that i am here on this earth to become a better more Christ like person. There are obstacles along the way and things that we need to learn about ourselves. Patience is a big one for me, and I am working so hard to be that way. I kmow I can't just pray and ask for it, but i need to work at it daily over and over.

Thanks for reading my blah blah blah. I just had to get that out there. To someone other than me, And other than certain men who just don't get it sometimes, even when they a super sensative and wonderful, even they just don't get it sometimes.

Ps. Family fun Friday didn't happen this week. The kids were naughty and got it taken away. Instead I watched "eat pray love", and "hello dolly!" By myself. I enjoyed both... A lot.

Take that Trash out

Look at this sweet sweet baby. She looks so peaceful. She IS so peaceful. Look at her grabbing her favorite blanky and shoving it into her little mouth, and sticking her fingers through any hole she can. Than girl LOVES her blanky. I just love her. And do you know why she was so peaceful? She couldn't hear what was going on in the rest of the chaotic house with her industrial fan on. Lucky her. Drown out the noise!

Then, I took the trash out. I dont do this as much as I should, and I realized this for 2 reasons today.

1. I dont take it out as much as I should for the obvious. The trashes just get too full too fast and they should be taken out more. I mean I am clean but somehow we accumulate so much trash in our little home, it is ridiculous.

2. When I shut the door behind me today while walking the trash bag to the dumpster, It hit me. It was so peaceful and quiet outside. I usually head right back in, but today I took a few minutes extra. I didn't care what crying, teasing, bugging, screaming, or whinning was going on inside at that moment. I didn't hear it! It was glorious!

I immediatly after coming inside and returning to the hot mess of inside the house, called Brian and just put it in his radar that someday soon, he should take me out on a date. No kids, no other couples, Just nice quiet adult time. We have been trying to be on a very strict budget this month, and that meant no date night outs... I have missed our weekly outing! So he gets home, gets a sitter, and off we went on a date. It was heavenly. I loved the sweet peace of adult time. My hubs is a winner! Oh, and that Creme Brule that I got was insanely good.

Just for kicks, this picture sums up Boots pretty good...

Gotta Love him.

Family Fun Friday

Another round of our Family movie night tonight and it was another hit! I was saving egg cartons this week, so what can ya make with Egg Cartons? CATERPILLARS!

So the birth of movie night - A Bugs Life!

We had tasty buggy food(spider sandwiches, bug ranch dip, Caterpillar cheese ball, ants on a log, worm ice cubes, dirt'n'worms) face painting of bugs, making egg carton caterpillars, *kind of cotton candy*, and a hunt for the food before the grasshoppers came!

The kids loved it. We had 2 other families over to make it more fun!

As another week comes to an end-ish, I make a sigh of relief. I have been so busy lately that it feels good to have a night to watch TV, or read, or just sit here and not move. I love to sit and not move. The bad of the weekend? We have been trying to lose a little weight and weekends we kinda take off. This is great until what we lose during the week is gained back on weekends. Ug. I suck. No, losing weight sucks.

BUT its the weekend so...

Hi Laundry

So when we got home from Canada, we came back and as I tried to throw in my first load of laundry, my washing machine malfunctioned. So we were about 2 weeks without a washer and poor courtney was wearing some teeny tiny outfits for her voluptious self. I love that girl. I also love that my washer is fixed and we have clean clothes again. Still working on the huge piles that accumulated over that time, but I am getting there.
The weather here is fab. I cant complain about our 50/60/70's given it was -30 something in Calgary today. We left at just the right time it sounds! We have been enjoying the park, the broken down trampoline in our brown backyard, and "riding" bikes. NAtalie loves it but boots has other things on his mind and on his agenda. That kid is too busy to even keep busy.

Family Fun Friday

I will not take credit for this idea. Family Fun Friday's. While pinterest-ing the other day I discovered this great idea of having a Family Fun Friday. We do have days every week where we spend time together (its called every night) but I wanted to have something fun for the the kids to look forward to, and thought this would be fun to start.

So Family Fun Friday. We take a movie and make the day's activities, or evening depending on how much time you have to put into it.

Brian chose the first movie and he chose Ratatouille. So I got to work thinking of some fun things to do and eat. That afternoon the 3 kids got to be chefs and help me make some mini chocolate chip cookies. Courtney was a newby to helping cook and she loved it. She also LOVED the dough.
Dinner was already planned for the night, Taco's so I didn't change that to something french, but...
I made chef hats out of paper and grocery sacks. Easy Peasy. The kids loved their hats!! Then I got some black streamers and made an Eifell Tower from the ceiling out of it. Didn't turn out as good as I wanted, but still the kids thought it was awesome. Over Dinner we tought a little french. Bonjour, Oui, etc...

I made up some movie tickets, and if they wanted their movie ticket they had to finish their dinner. Sneaky I know!

Earlier, while I was cooking dinner the kids got the coloring pages out and colored up some rats and chefs. Boots doesn't really like coloring. He gets bored fast, so next week I will have to come up with an activity that is better for him.

After Dinner, we jammied up and we headed out to the couch for more snacks. I made a fancy plate of cheeses, crackers, grapes and mini cookies. They were all to be eaten with fancy toothpicks of course. Courtney LOVED the cheeses and just was happy tottling around grabbing handfuls and shoving them in her mouth. Classic Court.

So it was a really fun night. The kids loved it, Brian loved it, and I loved it. I will FOR SURE keep this up and continue doing something each week. It does take some time and effort to plan ahead, but lucky for me, my kids think a movie with popcorn is super fun so anything above and beyond is AWESOME! So although it is now Monday, and I am behind on this post, Happy Family Fun Friday!

Go to www.familyfunfriday.blogspot.com/search/label/FFF for more ideas! I love them all and they just got my mind turning!

I'll never

I will never buy my kids gifts that are breakable and of any kind of significance. Like ever. I love to make them happy and get them things they love, but it is so hard when they turn around and break them... A few days later. Point in case;

First natalie's snow globe. It was adorable and musical and much more than Santa wanted to spend. First the snow globe it self was dropped and broken, on carpet. Ug! Then her wings somehow magically broke off. They were then glued on and then that night she came back out to me amputee without an arm. I'm tempted to throw it away but know that she loves it. I also know that she obviously can not be trusted with anything breakable and of worth.

Second was boots' gumball machine. Santa also decided to spend too much on this. Instead of just getting the plastic mini one from the dollar store, he got the real deal. Now HE didn't break it, but somehow it broke, and can no longer be used. Again, we have been home a week.

It's just frustrating to spend money on things that just get broken and thrown away. Lesson learned for future gifts. Go small or go home!

The gains and losses.

The first week home after the holidays has been bitter sweet.

Let's start off with the flu on the plane. Nothing like being squished in a smelly airplane bathroom trying to throw up quietly in a little airsickness/dirty diaper baggy. Woof. I was happy to get home and get a shower and get in my bed.

We had some friends come into town so it was something really fun to look forward to. They stayed only a day but we managed to squeeze in a Dallas maverick game and some yummy Mexican food. Can i just say, I am slightly obsessed with the fact that Chloe and Lamar are in Dallas. Like love it. I spent most of the game scanning for sassy brunettes and finally found the whereabouts of Kim and chloe kardashian. They were hundreds of feet away, but i could stop staring. I will now try to be out on the town more to maybe one day run into them. Ok, probably not, but I think they are kinda radical.

Today was boots first day of sunbeams at church and he did great, other than the fact that he was half undressed when we went to pick him up, Natalie said all the sunbeams "they be'd so good mom!". I can't believe he is so big. Well i say that, but after receiving a bubble gum machine for Christmas, I should probably not think so highly of his maturity. Today we found gum smeared and stuck all over his body, clothes, and couch. How is that possible? You are thinking. Just trust me, boots makes things happen you never thought possible.

We had a tragic loss this week. I was jumping for joy and waiting for this day for a long time, but the kids took it a little different. They all have blankets. Natalie had loved hers since she was about 1. She rubs is under her nose and between her fingers. It is soothing and she loves that thing so much. It does not cause much damage, but she relies in it to go to sleep. Boots has had his since he was born and I swear has love that thing since day one. He has one corner that he sucks. It is nasty. It smells like old mouth and old wetness. The sounds are gross and the blanket is just gross. He also has a little tasstle and a giraffe tag on it that he loves to twirl in his fingers. Kinda cute, again relies on it to go to sleep. We had them on a strict only sleeping schedule for these things, but they got to a point where I decided it just had to stop. I think it is moving boots teeth a bit, and I can't take his and not natalie's, so we decided to take them both. It's has been hard. Boots has shed many tears. Natalie has been awesome and has learned to deal. No tears( although there were tears over breaking her new snow globe last night) but tonight there was minimal inquiry about the said blankets. We had put them away and I told the kids they could have them back when they go to college. Natalie thought this was awesome. I don't think boots get it as tonight while going potty before bed, had a little tear in his eye and sadly looked up and asked "is it college yet mommy?" man, he melts my heart. I would give into him if Brian wasn't home. But I'm proud of those kids. Hey are doing great!

So now, Christmas stuff is put away, hustle and bustle are over and it is a new year. Time to throw away all my junky fudge and goodies laying around, and start my health kick. Tomorrow is Monday, which for me is the perfect start over date. Tomorrow I start fresh and new, get rid of those x amount of lbs gained over the holidays from eating and eating and eating. Back to get my kids reacquainted with the gyms play place and me with my treadmill. Ahhh, it's gonna be a good week!