Sunday, November 23

And then there was a baby

Finally I had that Baby. I pushed her out in 5 contractions and through throwing up, crying a lot, and just going through something I have never been through before. As much as I don't want to remember this... this picture really truly is how I was feeling. I needed a cloth and I could barely look or talk to anyone. Thanks Brian for capturing my moment of glory! ha He also video taped my groaning and moaning. That was horrible and embarrassing to listen to!

 So that sweet Baby came... (Brian HATES taking pictures but clearly I was in no place to do it, so he had to step up and I am glad he did.)

Poppy Anne Rawlins
born November 13, 2014 4:54 am
8lb 3 oz
19.5 inches

 The nurse wouldn't stop telling me about "skin to skin". This is something I would normally not be a fan of and not really want anything to do with. I felt like crap and just didn't want to hold her. She told me how it helps both me and the baby and all of the benefits. It sounded really cool, and I was really hormonal and emotional, so I gave it a whirl. I am so glad I did because it brought some special moments with her and I together. She was so sweet and snuggly and I was so grumpy, she turned me around. I suddenly had attention and energy for her. To look and kiss and touch her. I loved it. And I am pretty sure so did she. We still try to do skin to skin now but it is a getting a little tougher with her getting bigger and the other kids always around!
 Her BFF to be Summer came to visit and introduce herself. Although I am pretty sure they were just BFF's a few months ago before they joined our families! Summer suddenly grew up really fast when Poppy entered the world!

 The kids couldn't wait to see her and hold her. The second day they came in to see the baby again and I had just sent her to the nursery. I would feed her and send her back almost immediately unless I had visitors because of the awful way I felt. I needed sleep any moment I could get it. I felt like I had been hit my a bus and had been laying there for days!  Anyway, kids came in and they asked where baby Poppy was. I told them I gave her back and they all got so upset thinking that I didn't want her anymore at all. ha. They love her so so much already.

I know there are a lot of pictures of me and there is actually no pictures of Brian and I with baby, maybe on my phone. I tried to curl my hair and put on makeup before leaving to feel kind of good, but it didn't help much. I felt so bad and nasty for days and days.

So we had a few visitors in the hospital but I didn't have the energy or appetite that I wished I could have had so I didn't want to see or entertain anyone. Thursday morning she was born, Saturday morning we were able to come home.

We have now been home a week and I am feeling pretty good. I forget all of the bad stuff that comes along with babies. Most of it is the stuff that my body goes through after but I am getting past the worst of it. My milk is starting to regulate, although it is still super painful and I want to give up every single time she nurses. Aches and pains in other places are starting to feel better as well.

I have been out a few times, we went to get her passport taken care of as we are going to Canada for Christmas, we went out to lunch afterward and I was kind of a hot mess worried about her being hungry in public! I went to target and yesterday we ventured to the mall to make a return of something I thought would be my favorite baby item. An Apple BABY monitor. It was actually horrible so we returned it and will go with something off the shelf at target.

Ahhhh baby life. I am getting there! It is weird that I have 4 kids and doesn't quit seem real yet, although I am pretty sure life is about to get really real with Thanksgiving break and kids out of school all week.... I am already hating it and it isn't even Monday yet! I wish I could be the mom excited about them being home, but right now at this point in my life, I am NOT!


Meagan Cooper said...

GIRLFRIEND! Congrats on little Poppy, she is a doll! You look great in the pix, and your family is so adroable! You can do it. Any baby after #3 has no choice but to be a good baby! LOVE YOU!

Aidan Jordan said...

Only you would look good when you're feeling terrible. Can't wait to meet that sweet girl!

The JL McGregor Family said...

I had a similar experience with Grant, who was also born at 4 am after a long night and many months of no sleep! They handed me this screaming baby and all I wanted was for them to take him and the noise away. I can also relate to not being excited about everyone being home. You're not alone! You do look great, and it will get better. I hope you can continue to relax and recover!

Meagan M said...

Babies are so tough!!! I'm sorry that you had to start things out without your full energy or health. That's just rough! But you'll get through it!! You did this three times before and it'll be ok. Every time I have a baby I make Ben promise to never let me do it again...ever. And somehow I keep coming back for more.

You do look great though!!!