So here I stand at 27/8 weeks in these pictures. Everything with baby is great. Still a girl and still growing and heart beating. She moves a lot and keeps me up at night a lot. Leg cramps, contractions, stomach cramps, heart burn, sore feet, cravings for ice, chocolate, and now I am starting to nest!! Today I canned 21 cans of peaches and made 2 batches of freezer jam. I also have the same amount of pears to can as well as another 2 batches of jam. I also have cooked dinner 2 nights In a row AND I am caught up on laundry. I can't say that this Rarely happens cause This never happens!
I have been pretty emotional lately as well. When I think of my mom and talk to her about the summer we both cry. I still just can no fathom the events of the summer... Which I will still blog about! I need to constantly remind myself that god is in charge and he loves us and cares about us.
Besides my emotions going crazy- my anxiety has also been elevated and I have been having a hard time getting that under control. I have realized I am a control freak and I just have to (as my dad would say) "let it go". This Summer as I was there he witnessed some of my child induced anxiety. As he watched me get wound up and ready to yell he would start to sing the song from frozen "let it go". He was a good reminder to have around all the time to help me stay cool and under control. Where is he now when I really need him?!
I am not quite sure where it is all stemming from but I have a feeling that the leftover effects of the summer have a little bit of something to do with it. Also the fact that I'm pregnant and have no idea how I will handle four children! No clue.
Natalie is my toughest child. She fights with me constantly and argues and yells every single day. She doesn't seem to have any respect for me and will not listen to anything I ask her to do. It drives me to the point of locking myself in a room for some peace and quiet, to contemplate and decide how I will handle the situation and what I will do next. I feel as though I have tried everything, but clearly I haven't tried everything! We will continue to work together. I know I can get through this and I know I can manage my emotions and my feelings and my anxiety I just need to work really hard at it. Anxiety is really a dark cloud hanging over your head. I have never had any kind of depression so I don't know how that feels, but I really hate having to deal with the feelings that I do with my anxiety.
2 comments:
Your belly is freaking adorable! I love pregnant belly's...on other people, I have zero torso so I look squat. haha.
You have had a very stressful and busy summer, I'm sure that it is all just catching up with you now. Give yourself a break and go get a pedi :-)
Jeni you look great! I didn't know you were into canning! Where'd you find the peaches and pears? I've only done peaches once and thought they were a pain--are pears easier?
You're amazing! I also have anxiety--it's something to overcome every day. You will be great with your four kiddos!
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