Tuesday, November 27

It all just gets in the way...

Courtney is 2, she is super "mature" for her age and talks a mile a minute. She talks to everyone about everything, and because she is so tall and advanced with speaking, people think they need to engage in a real conversation with her. It's quite funny actually.

Well, she is ready to be potty trained and as I have learned with other children, I hate potty training. She tells me before she goes in her diaper by saying "there's something in my bum." she keeps her diaper dry a lot and then well try to sit on the toilet and she actually goes. So she is ready. I've been putting it off for months now with the move and all. Well yesterday was the day. I re-read my 3 day potty training, bought panties, bought the juice, and marked the days off... Until I woke up. I was so sick yesterday that it all got put on hold. Now I don't think I will be able to do it till the new year! Lame. I also was scheduled to go in and complete one of my classes this week with night school. So, I spent the day trying to recovery enough to go to class. It worked, and after laying in bed from 7am-5pm I felt ok to go to class. But I am soo out of the classroom mode! And can I say, I hate classroom talkers? The ones who talk along with the teacher, trying to say things before they do, or asking questions to try to make themselves look smarter than the rest of us. Ug. I hate that. Just listen. Don't talk.

But in getting sick, I re-learned that I have the best sister ever. She took my two kids so I could throw up (grow up as Courtney calls it) without worrying about the 2 insanely crazy nutsos I have roaming around my house. Seriously, don't know what I would do without her! So note to self, stop getting sick. Note to kid in my class, stop quiet talking over the teacher. Note to Courtney, stop growing up. And note to sister, you are the bomb.

Sunday, November 25

Christmas Bubbles

Thanksgiving was another wonderful Holiday with Family and those we love around us. We passed around more feathers for our turkey who quickly got filled up with things people are thankful for. Choklit, sonic happy hour, family living close, the troops, great grandchildren, and so many more things were thought about. We are truly blessed and  have so much to be thankful for. I was especially thankful for the chocolate pie, and lemon meringue pie this year! mm. OK, but for real, I was really thankful for healthy happy family to be all together.
 
I skipped the black Friday shopping this year. I did it a few years ago and went to wait in line at Toys'rus for some Christmas gifts. It was nuts. The people were crazy, the store was insane and I just don't ever find the need to go back again. Unless there was something I am just DYING to have that is on a crazy sale, it isn't worth it to me. So I passed, went to a movie and had a good night sleep!
 
Needing a night out of the house, Brian surprised us all by taking us to this new public park in a local community that had its light up ceremony on Friday. It was beautiful!! They had thousands of lights on hundreds of trees and the kids LOVED running around and picking out their favorites. There was a band playing and little boothes set up selling things. There were food trucks with cupcakes and hot dogs and deep fried oreos. It was a lot of fun! I dont know why lights put me in the Christmas spirit, but they do a great job of it and make me feel all Christmasy inside! Great way to ring in the season!
Natalie was our little photographer for this picture, since we never get pictures of the 2 of  us since we are always taking them or chasing kids or something. She did pretty good eh?! 

We then told them we would go find a treat, given all of the treats there were super expensive. We tried a few diners for pie or dessert, but they were all closed for the Holidays...sooo we ended up going to a place that sells bubble tea. We got smoothies, with bubbles. The kids hated the bubbles. I thought for sure they would love it and think it was pretty cool. The first one was cool, then there were hundreds more in their drink. It got old fast. So Bubbles in smoothies for the future are a big fat NO!

Wednesday, November 21

piy

Natalie put together her own menu for tomorrow. When she wrote pumpkin she had first written pmpn piy. The way the little mind works is amazing to me.  
Ive been studying hard too. I am fixing to get my Real Estate Licence and so I have been working hard every day to get complete the classes. It is draining me trying to do everything in a day plus work on school work, but I know it is worth it in the end. I am really excited to be done. I will be like a female Phil Dunphey...yes!!
 
So last night I wasn't feeling very good and I went to the gym to get a workout in. I got on the treadmill and could barely stand up straight. I was hunching over and tried my hardest to run but could only get about 2 min of running in, then I walked for another 30. I was again trying to speed walk at an incline, but for the life of me I couldn't get going faster than 2.0 - slow.  I finally gave up and took the kids home. I made them promise me that they would go to bed so good and help me out. Boots was awesome, but Natalie was a pill. First I came out of my room cause I heard them talking. I walked out and listened to them upstairs. I first saw the stairs full of stuffed animals. Each stair had its own stuffed animal. Natalie was up there telling boots that this is a pathway so mom knows where to go when she comes to check on us tonight. It was really sweet. I creeped up the stairs to find the hallway covered in little stuffed paths as well heading into each of their 3 bedrooms. I sent boots to bed, and he listened. Natalie was Natalie and didn't. It took another hour and a half to finally get her to bed, after crying herself to sleep because I wouldn't let her open the door anymore. I hate bedtime when they wont listen. I mean, how many times do you let them come out of their room and tell you no that they wont go back to bed/? I just didn't know what else to do. I yelled and got upset, started to cry, and then slammed her door. I'm such a little kid. Anyway, Brian was not happy when he got home to hear how they had treated me, so they got woken up at midnight and had to clean their rooms and the toy room until it was all clean. Lets hope they learn a little lesson here...
So today, I am laying in bed still not feeling good. Achy, and sore and headache. fever and chills. Just yuck. PLEASE let me feel better for thanksgiving tomorrow!!

Tuesday, November 20

I am one of them

I make fun of the moms that don't enjoy the moments. They have their camera's out taking a whole bunch of pictures and are at every event...some could say they are great parents. But I make fun of them. They have to capture every movement their kindergartner makes at everything. Well.... I have officially turned into one. FINE, I have been one all along. I will still make fun of them, and make fun of myself, but I will also LOVE that I am one. Especially later in their lives when I will have thousands of pictures for us to look at and choose from for their wedding videos, or their special presentation when they are 50 or whatever.
 
Well Natalie had her first Kindergarten Program at school. First, I think it is hilarious that they can't say God or Christmas at school, BUT they can sing a while program about Indians. I mean, maybe it is the Canadian in me thinking that a little off.... but regardless, it was so cute! They did the ABC's of Thanksgiving and sang a whole bunch of songs. Natalie barely sang and barely smiled till the end, she was super nervous after she saw all of the people.
Papa was so sweet to take the time to come and see her perform. He took us out for some Dairy Queen after. I am fully aware that DQ does not have the best ice cream around, but I blame it on me growing up in Canada where DQ is the most fabulous ice cream EVER. So now I love it at any time of day, any day of the week, even if there is blue bell ice cream at the store, or braums down the road.
Back to whats Important... Natalie as a Pilgrim and was very adorable!  
Earlier in the day, they had a "first feast" where all of the kinder's met up for this cute feast with grapes and crackers and cheese. We went over to see her and Courtney quickly found her way over to Natalie so she could steel food. Again, I was totally that mom, haha.

Wednesday, November 14

He's come back for another year

This is Tordon, our Thankful turkey. He comes around every year for Thanksgiving for us to give him our thankful feathers. Usually we save him for the big family dinner, but this year we got him out a little early for our family. The kids took some time to think about things they are grateful for, which for the record is really hard to explain what that means. So Courtney chose food. Natalie chose  "momme and boots" "soljrs" and "frens". I am trying to let her sound out words herself and she is doing a good job of it! I am thankful for a sweet smart little daughter who is really enjoying kindergarten and picking up on how to read and write and sound out letters. Boots picked a few things like our cozy bed and house, and also tht Jesus lives again. The one that I love this year is he is thankful for Brother Rogers to keep us safe. He is a friend that is serving our country and Boots always talks about him. It was sweet to hear him say he is thankful for him and why. So Thank you Tordon for helping us remember that we need to always be thankful for all that we have and that we truly are so very blessed. I love having the whole month to think and contemplate on that.
Sometimes I lose focus on the important things in life and tend to get side tracked with all of the little things that take up my day and week. Even when it comes to my kids alone, it is hard to remember the important things. I am quick to get upset at noise levels or messes, when I am just grateful I have them and I should be embracing the noise and love they share in our home. I should take more time to read with them, and play with them instead of sending them upstairs or away so that I can clean or cook, or look at my ipad...Yes I am VERY guilty of this. They are sweet, funny, caring, loving, creative, smart little kids and I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to raise and take care of 3 of them. JENI, REMIND YOURSELF EVERY DAY OF THIS!! Its so easy to forget!
 
Courtney is hilarious. She drives me insane in the car. She is always screaming or shouting, or crying. I have been dealing with some anxiety over the last year and this is something that really brings it out in me. Noise, and her noise drives me in sane! I have to breath deep and relax. I have to tell myself to not scream back and just be calm. It is very hard a lot of times in the day, but especially in the car with her. Then there are sweet funny silly times like this when she is just a goof and she sends my anxiety right out the window.
 
My Anxiety is something that I am learning every day to handle and try to "curb" if you will. I hate the feeling of being angry with my kids or about situations that I really cant control. I have learned to understand that I only need to deal with MY problems, and other peoples problems are not mine... so let them go!  Those are added stresses to my life that I just don't have to deal with. Another big trigger is worrying about the future, whether it be tomorrow or in 5 years, I used to get all wrapped up and worried. I have learned to do what I can today and now and deal with what will happen tomorrow...tomorrow. Its ok to go to bed with things not done, or to live in a house half furnished, or to know that I cant eat super healthy right now because really it is just too expensive. Sometimes I allow things that don't really effect me, to effect me and that causes a lot of anxiety as well. Decisions other people are making is a number 1. Family or friends who aren't doing things THAT I think they should be doing make me on edge. I have learned to let it go. Again, these are their decisions and not mine and I can not take on what COULD happen to them in their life. Its not my life, it's theirs.
 
I didn't even know what I was experiencing until one day, back in February I just snapped. I didn't know what I was feeling or dealing with. I wasn't happy ever and my kids were making me mad all the time. I would get sweaty and angry over little things and I was yelling ALL of the time. I was trying to control everything and everyone and it wasn't working in my favor. I hadn't shared these thoughts or feelings with anyone because I thought it was normal to feel this way, and just what happens. I would hear other moms say, "its just being a mom!" but there was something telling me that wasn't true. I had felt the normal MOMMY stress, and this was more. So I felt overwhelmed to tell my Visiting teachers one day about the bad day I was having. I don't like other people to worry over me, so it was hard to say anything. They both asked me if I had considered going to see a therapist. I hadn't. I thought they were for the weak and I did not need that. It was nothing I could handle alone. The more I talked about it and realized I wasn't able to help myself with... I decided to take their advice. Here is what I have to say about it... It was the best decision I have made in a long long time. It was hard to open up and actually embarrassing to go to. I didn't want to tell anyone and kept very private about it. But I am here to say, that it was so awesome. Just being able to think outside the box and see my life from another angle was what I needed. I was able to talk through a lot of my problems and was given a lot of tools to help me focus on what was really important. Having boots finish all of his food was NOT of those important things. The kids did not control me. I could get out of a loud car. I finally felt like I was in control on my own life and other peoples choices didn't effect my happiness.
 
I just wanted to share that, and say that I know that I was inspired to talk to those ladies about my anxiety that day. I was helped in ways that I wouldn't have been able to help myself. Going to see a Psychologist isn't something for the weak, but for the strong who can admit when they need help. I am so thankful I did and it changed me. I am happier and feel more like me than I had in a while and I am so blessed to have found the person that my Father in Heaven really wants me to be. I avoided saying anything on my blog about some of the person battles I was facing, but there you have it.
 

Sunday, November 11

We work out

 
Saturday my old ward did a walk to theDallas LDS Temple. It was 18.1 miles, which we ended up doing a little more like 19/20. There is always something standing in the way of getting to the temple isn't there?! Anyway, it was so much fun to walk with these wonderful girls and their leaders and feel of the spirit that was there. My legs hurt and I know the girls were dying in pain. Blisters, exhaustion, leg cramps, sore feet, but it was so much fun and an experience they will remember for the rest of their lives.
 
 
Natalie is a very athletic little girl. She loves to race other kids and beat them. I try to teach her that she doesn't always have to win, but to be honest, I am not going to crush that winning instinct cause it is great! So she had her first boosterthon fun run at school this last week and she was determined to run all the laps that she could. I am sure it wasn't JUST to get every dollar she could out of her sponsors...but of course she did it. She ran the whole time and only stopped once for a little water break. She ran by to give high fives, but barely would look at me the whole time. She didn't not smile much as she gets so embarressed of me already. I hate that. She LOVES me in real life, and she thinks I am really cool, so I was sad that she didn't show any love! haha But she did great and ran the whole way like a trooper!!
Then on Saturday Libby, Anna, and I got all DIRTY at a Mud run. It was the first time we had done anything like this and it was S
O MUCH FUN!! I will for sure be signing up in the future for more of these! My goal was to get as dirty as possible. I was drenched in Mud and I even got my face splatted in it and a mouth full of mud. GACK!!  My arms are sore today, I think from the adult sized monkey bars that I dominated. Funny thing, I have never been able to do monkey bars at the park with the kids and in the moment at the race, its like I had all this extra strength I never knew I had! I could go longer and tougher next time too!

Wednesday, November 7

crazy birds

There are these crazy black birds here in our area every fall. They come around and flock at dusk to certain intersections and all over the roofs of homes in the surrounding neighbourhoods. I don't know what kind they are or what they are looking for.. but they are creepy, and loud. Go away creepy black birds.
So there is nothing better than moving into a house that is finally completed, to have to rip it up again. We have been noticing a few bumps in the carpet upstairs. So we pulled it up with the help of the builder to check it all out. We thought it was going to be something easy to fix. It was not. It never is. So our upstairs sat like this for a few days and no kids were allowed as there were nails and nasty raw wood, boots got a sliver from it. Anyway, they ended up having to come in and replace the wood on the floor and then put back all of the carpet again. What a mess. there was dust and dirt and carpet stuff everywhere. After a while tonight, I got everything cleaned up and put back together where it belongs.
Now,  I have had several requests for pictures of the new house. They aren't coming any time soon.  I tend to have a problem with feeling like things have to be finished in order to share pictures, well nothing will be finished for a while. And by while I mean, like 4 plus months. ha ha It is all a work in progress! But to tide you over, here is the awesome ikea bed we got for boots and the kids LOVES it!! Other than the fact that he wakes up every morning WAY too early, this bed rocks!
PS. get this Halloween candy out of my house. ASAP.

Monday, November 5

Future Photographer

Tonight for Family Home Evening we decided, I decided, to make homemade donuts.Natalie snuck into my purse and stole my camera to take some pictures of the event. I didn't mind, since I am never in any pictures. She is pretty good at capturing some key moments!
They had so much fun cutting out the donuts and the holes!! It was tough waiting until the final product was done. To keep our time, we had a lesson on letter writing.  They each got to chose someone special to write a letter to. They both chose a friend who is serving our country overseas, they wrote and drew some sweet pictures for him. 
And then FINALLY Daddy came home nice and late and we fried those puppies up and ate ate ate. Natalie was the only one that liked them, other than Brian and I. And lets just say, now I feel sick.
I
Courtney was sick last night, and I am thankful there was only one carpet incident, the rest were on the wood floor. That sure makes it easy for cleanup! She is feeling better today and was all in there with things to do. I dont understand how kids can be so resiliant when it comes to fevers and throwing up (or as courtney calls it, Growing up "Mom, I dont want to grow up.") But can be so sick and just be going going going like nothing it gonna bring them down! I pray  I dont get it! I hate being sick.

I cant believe that there is an election tomorrow. I remember the last few, but this was my first year EVER to vote! You bet I did it early and I did!! I felt so good to vote for who I think will be the best for our Country for some changes that need to happen. I love this country and feel blessed to live in it. The suspense and anxiety is killing me and will until probably wens morning!! ACK!!

Thursday, November 1

spooked

I think Halloween is a really fun Holiday. I dont know why, becuase I hate being scared and I hate yucky things... But on Monday we decided to throw a little creepy spooky dinner and evening for the kids. Lib and Sean came over and we had this for dinner...
Then we did many many stick on tattos, painted and carkved pumpkins, and roasted pumpkin seeds. It was all of my favorite fall and Halloween activities in one night! The kids loved it, and I did too!!
Tonight of course, was Halloween. We did a little costume change up this time around, and Natalie borrowed Taylors. She was Dorothy and insisted that we listen to somewhere over the Rainbow the whole way into our first trick or treating stop, Great Grandmas House. While Natalie sang her guts out, Batman and cupcake fell asleep for a little nap. As soon as I pulled up to Gma's house though, Boots woke up with a jolt and was ready to go. He got up and said, "Mom, I just needed a little nap. I feel better now and ready to be Batman." He said it with drool dripping down his cheek.
Too much candy was consumed and now it covers my floor. I have always had a hard time limiting the candy intake on Halloween. They get so much, and I want them to enjoy it and eat it, but how much is too much??